Hey boy.
Come to California. The great and golden USA.
Leave Your Comrades, Leave Your Country.
Come be an American.
You can make more money, you can buy a bigger house, drive a bigger car.
Eat more food, work less hours for more pay.
You can learn
the
best
language
in
the
world.
English.
Best Regards, Your American
Hey boy. Hey boy.
You're here, you're here.
Can't you see what a great apartment this is?
Your parents can sleep in this room with the baby, and you can sleep in this room.
In a great big bed. With great big sheets.
With Oleg,
Igor,
Serghei,
Stas,
Liya,
and Luiza.
So. Much. Room!
(Don't mind the cockroaches. Don't mind the mold. And please don't mind the gunshots that might just possibly wake the baby up at night.)
Best Regards, Your American Landlord.
Hey boy, you look sad. Whats up homie?
Why the long face, foreigner?
Why can't you speak so I can understand you? Why can't you speak my language?
(the best one there is, of course,
now let me go get
fatter while I
sit in my office
all day
deciding lives.)
What? You're not going to graduate by January?
What? You're still in Beginning ESL?
You've had three months!
Hey Boy,
I'm sorry to inform you but we're taking away your money.
We are also pulling support from the rest of your family.
(I don't remember when working from midnight to 5am actually mattered to me or this business.)
And so, with (no) regret,
àAnd make sure you get thisß
………………………………………………….…Straight………………………………...……………….…
Unless you graduate by the end of this semester,
We will no longer be able to send you check.
Signed,
Your Welfare Man
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